A-B-A form: a musical convention long preferred by composers who can't "C. " 

Adagio fromaggio: to play in a slow and cheesy manner. 

A la regretto: tempo assigned to a performance by the conductor AFTER it is panned by the local music critics. 

Al capone: performing while standing on a neutered rooster. 

Al dente con tableau: in opera, chew the scenery. 

Allegro con brillo: the fastest way to wash pots and pans. 

AnDante: A musical composition that is Infernally slow. 

Angus Dei: a divine, beefy tone. 

Antiphonal: referring to the prohibition of cell phones in the concert hall 

A patella: unaccompanied knee-slapping. 

Appologgiatura: an ornament you regret after playing it. 

Approximatura: a series of notes played by a performer and not intended by the composer, especially when disguised with an air of "I meant to do that. " 

Approximento: a musical entrance that is somewhat close to the correct pitch. 

Baffoon: baboon with bassoon. 

Barbie dolce: sweet but plastic. 

Bar line: what musicians form after a concert. 

Bass lure: a seductive refrain. 

Basso continuo: the act of game fishing after the legal season has ended. 

Basso profundo: an opera about deep sea fishing. 

Basso refundo: the sad but predictable consequence of the ill-fated "Three Basses" concert tour. 

Brake drum: The instrument most used to slow the tempo in an orchestra. 

Bull horn: a brass instrument that plays notes you wouldn't believe. 

Cacophany: composition incorporating many people with chest colds. 

Carmina banana: a medieval musical plantain. 

Concerto grosso: a really BAD performance. 

Contrababoon: the simian assistant of a Latin American revolutionary organ grinder. 

Coral Symphony: (see: Beethoven -- Caribbean period). 

Cornetti trombosis: disastrous entanglement of brass instruments that can occur when musicians are not careful exiting the stage. 

Crashendo: the increasing sense of aggravation felt by band members as those trumpet players keep dropping their mutes on the hard stage floor. 

D. C. al capone: you betta go back to the beginning, capiche? 

Dill piccolo: a wind instrument that plays only sour notes. 

Diminderwindo: fading of daylight at dusk, as seen from indoors. 

Diminuendo: the process of quieting a rumor in the orchestra pit. 

Eardrum: a teeny, tiny tympani. 

Etude brute: an early form of Roman music performed with a rapid, sharp, repetitive beat. 

Fermantra: a note that is held over and over and over and. . . 

Fermatahorn: an Alpine wind instrument used for playing long notes.

Fermoota: a rest of indefinite length and dubious value. 

Fiddler crabs: grumpy string players. 

Flute flies: gnat-like bugs that bother musicians playing out-of-doors. 

Fog horn: a brass instrument that plays when the conductor's intentions Are not clear. 

Fortississippi: with mighty, flowing strength. 

Frugalhorn: a sensible, inexpensive brass instrument. 

Fruitti tutti: a chorus singing together in an exaggerated, overripe manner. 

Gaul blatter: a French horn player. 

Good conductor: A person who can give an electrifying performance. 

Grace note: the I. O. U. you deposit in the church collection plate when you're out of cash. 

Gregorian champ: monk who can hold a note the longest. 

Ground brass: when someone in the marching band drops a sousaphone. 

Ground hog: someone who takes control of the repeated bass line and won't let others play it. 

Herbert von Carryon: a conductor who never rides in the cargo hold. 

Hyperportamento: a tone that soars, bends, strains until it pierces into another dimension and leaves, ever after, a porthole to heaven. 

Kvetchendo: gradually getting ANNOYINGLY louder. 

Maestrousseau: at the pace of a wedding march. 

Mallade: a romantic song that's pretty awful. 

Matterhorn: an intrument of cosmic influence designed to create something out of nothing. 

Molto bolto: head straight for the ending, but don't make it seemed rushed. 

Mucho caffinato: play loudly enough to wake up those sleeping in the audience. 

Oeuferture: musical composition commissioned by the National Egg Marketing Council. 

OraToro: a lawn mower may be substituted for the original instrumentation at this point. 

Opera buffa: musical stage production at a nudists' camp. 

Pastorale: beverage to drink in the country when listening to Beethoven with a member of the clergy. 

Phollyphonic: badly arranged harmonizations. 

Pianorama: instrument capable of broad, sweeping musical performances. 

Pipe smoker: an extremely virtuosic organist. 

Pizzacato: the act of removing anchovies from an Italian dish with short, quick motions and tossing them to a nearby awaiting feline friend. 

Placebo Domingo: faux tenor. 

Pollyphonic: orchestra made up of lots of parrots. 

Poochini: When singing, to be accompanied by your dog. 

Pre-Classical Conservatism: school of thought which fostered the idea, "if it ain't baroque, don't fix it. " 

Prelude: a cue, found in some of the earlier oratorios, instructing Those singing the roles of the wicked to pray in an offensive or profane manner. 

Presto chango: quickly going from a very fast to a very slow tempo. 

Pseudo-dolce: Nutrasweet. 

(The) Rights of Strings: manifesto of the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Bowed Instruments. 

Rooti tooti: use of a potato as a trumpet mute. 

Rubato: cross between rhubarb and a tomato. 

Schmaltzando: a sudden burst of music from the Guy Lombardo band. 

Snacktus: Quiet, contemplative music played during the appetizer at Catholic wedding receptions. 

Sosaphone: a cylindrical wooden instrument used to play smash hits. 

Spinet: politician's order. 

Spritzicato: plucking of a stringed instrument to produce a bright, bubbly sound, usually accompanied by sparkling water with lemon(wine optional). 

Status cymbal: an instrument to be played at inaugurations and socialite balls. 

Tempe Arizona: a hot passage. 

Tempo tantrum: what a young orchestra is having when it's not keeping time with the conductor. 

Timpani alley: a row of kettledrums. Term originated in New York City area. 

Tincanabulation: the annoying or irritating sounds made by an unmusical person using extremely cheap bells. From Poe's "The Bells" and "tin cans". 

Toiletto: the effect on the human voice of reverberation in small rooms with ceramic tiles. 

Trouble clef: any clef one can't read, e. g. , the alto clef for pianists. 

Vesuvioso: a gradual buildup to a fiery conclusion.Woodwind: a noise in the game of golf, made by a club missing the ball on a tee shot.

Zzzzfortzando - playing really loud to wake up the audience.